"LA. Guy" <rongibson@fat.net> wrote in message

news:WOuV7.550$CS6.439541@typhoon.jacksonville.mediaone.net...

> > Nice of you to forward dimwitted, stale, passed around jokes to the

> > newsgroup, you tree hugging, butterfly saving FREAK.

> > Don't worry, *I* use enough fossil fuels for the BOTH of us, Big car,

> > Big truck, Big motorcycle, Big and small boat, two snowmobiles, and

> >a motorhome.

>

> I have all those too, plus a Cessna 210 aircraft that burns 20 gph of

> hi-lead Avgas!

I have both of you beat. I have all of those PLUS an Al Gore limo that's

really loaded down with armor and bullet-proof glass and burns gas like an

M-1 Abrams tank. And, like Al Gore, I have a farm from which I chopped

down all the trees using a double-bladed ax.

Like John Travolta, I have an array of gas guzzling aircraft that I use to

fly out to Vail for a weekend ski trip which includes a Piper Turbo Arrow

that sucks Avgas like Julia sucking down gallon after gallon of love juice

as she does with her movie crew.

Like Blabra Streisand, I have 3 stables and 6 houses that I keep all cool at

a balmy 60 degrees in the summertime with central air-conditioning and at 85

degrees in the winter using a combination of electric, gas, and oil heat -

and, if it gets too hot, I don't lower the thermostat, I just open the

windows to cool me off.

Like Bill and Hillary Clinton, I jet around the world burning up jet fuel

and I have people chauffeur me around all day burning up gas with really

no place to go.

Like Rosie O'Donnell, I consume about 2 steer and 6 pigs on a daily basis -

and that's just breakfast. For lunch I eat 15 turkeys and 96 chickens. And,

at dinnertime, I go a little light by only eating 1 buffalo, 2 swordfish, a

bushel of clams and I wash it down with 16 gallons of milk - lowfat, of

course.