1) Tell the truth. The truth is the most powerful tool available for increasing intimacy in human relationships. "Communicate the truth quickly" says Buckminster Fuller, "the planet doesn't have the time to waste." Also communicate withholds. Withholding information or feelings can be as damaging as telling a lie.

2) Come from "I". When discussing personal feelings, experiences, or opinions use the first person. Owning your feelings requires vulnerability and courage. It puts you in your body. Using the second person "you" allows the individual to avoid presence and responsibility.

3) Get to the point. Stay out of long personal stories, too many details, and personal drama. The group will be supported to remain focused and attentive if people refrain from getting into irrelevant trivia.

4) Listen. Give your full attention and respect when someone is talking. Expect the same when you have the floor. Conscious listening enlightens the speaker as well as the listener. Silence is OK. It is often more powerful than speech.

5) Come from solution. Constructive criticism and analysis are often appropriate parts of the process. If you use this approach, however, accept the mutual responsibility for creating a solution.

6) Take a stand. This is very different from taking a "position". It is your responsibility to have your message heard.You have a contribution to make. Don't blame others if you fail to make it. You are not the point you are going to make, however.Don't identify with it. If a better suggestion is presented be willing to go with it.

7) Appreciate the differences. Contained conflict is healthy. It is vital to the process and enhances aliveness. We all see the world through our own eyes. Be direct and powerful with your communications. Support others to do the same.

8) Stay in the moment. Stay in your body, with your feelings, and with what is going on in the room. Watch out of the corner of your eye at the edges of things. Be appropriate to the situation at hand. True "Presence" is a state of magic. In this state the group is capable of anything.

9) Keep your agreements. Trust is essential to any group. It is especially important that you trust yourself and what you say. You are as powerful as your ability to keep your word.Don't make a commitment that you do not intend to keep.